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Advances in Social Sciences Research Journal – Vol. 8, No. 11
Publication Date: November 25, 2021
DOI:10.14738/assrj.811.11130. Khan, S. I. (2021). Traditional Marriage in Rural Bangladesh: An Ethical Consideration. Advances in Social Sciences Research Journal,
8(11). 325-334.
Services for Science and Education – United Kingdom
Traditional Marriage in Rural Bangladesh: An Ethical
Consideration
Md. Sayeedul Islam Khan
Senior Lecturer, School of General Education
BRAC University, 66 Mohakhali, Dhaka-1212,
Bangladesh
ABSTRACT
One of the common arguments to justify the traditional arrangement to marry off
daughters in rural Bangladesh is that through this procedure they get a secured life
under their husband’s supervision. It is a well-known proposition that if parents
really care about daughters, searching for a bridegroom from a well-off family is the
best option. Typically, daughters’ families mainly the father arrange such marriage,
and the girl’s consent is hardly taken into account. However, I argue this traditional
system values only girls’ caregiving and reproductive roles, ignoring all other life- affirming values. If daughters are not free to decide whether to marry or not to
marry, their autonomy as human beings are violated. Moreover, considering
marriage as a responsibility shifting process could objectify and commodify women
in such a way that would destroy potentials to flourish life and make them a victim
of violence. There are strong theoretical and empirical reasons to believe that the
entire procedure of marriage is ethically blameworthy and detrimental for women.
Sufficient ground can be found to put more priority on developing daughters’
competency to make them economically and socially independent so that they can
choose when to marry, whom to marry or not to marry.
Keywords: Marriage, Objectification and Violence
INTRODUCTION
Marriage, a recognized union between a man and a woman, also connects two families, which
is well accepted all over the world. However, marrying off daughters with an intention to
transfer responsibility is typically observed all around Bangladesh but the situation is severe
in the middle-class family of rural areas. Before proceeding further, I must admit that this
middle-class identity is a self-proclaimed socio-cultural construct irrespective of per day
income. In such a class, men are the sole earners and other members of the family are
completely dependent on that income. Consequently, per family income is very less to meet the
basic needs. Marriage arrangement is a responsibility shifting procedure, this psychological
paradigm profoundly exists in the middle-class family of the villages. Bruce Cardwell critically
evaluates marriage in Bangladesh as a union between two families instead of individuals. It is
widely accepted that early marriage makes women more flexible and accepting to cope with
the new environment where they will be raised by husbands and in-laws. Another fact behind
early marriage is the belief that before marriage girls should be in charge of their father and
after marriage the husband will take over the father’s position. Therefore, a large age difference
is expected to ensure the bride’s subordination to her husband (1). Another important fact was
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pointed out by Kotalova. She states that “a daughter is a debt of honor and there is hardly a
more shameful failure for a man than the inability to marry off his daughter/sister” (2). She
truly understands that in Bengali culture premarital sexuality is strongly prohibited and as a
part of prevention women are expected to maintain social distance while meeting the same age
or adult male. For the family, it would be a matter of extreme dishonor if a daughter gets
involved with any premarital sexual activity. Due to the fact that unmarried adult women are
not destined to be independent to move around and to make male friends, such imposed
restrictions to keep girls far away from any sort of sexual activity also motivate parents to
marry off daughters earlier.
Considering the cultural context of rural Bangladesh, it is so evident to assume that the
existence of patriarchy inevitably harms the entire society (3). Because of this, by arranging
marriage daughters are given away into a family which is basically headed by the husband’s
father and controlled by other members of the family. In that family, the wife becomes
subordinate not only to men but also to women of that family (4). In such a context girls’ main
responsibility is to satisfy others’ desires and this scenario is visible everywhere in rural
Bangladesh. As poverty exists, therefore, classic patriarchy can play a very important role to
motivate parents to ponder marriage as a safe way to transfer daughters’ responsibility and
thus to marry off their daughter instead of making them self-dependent. However, there is
strong ground to believe that such marriage can cause different kinds of violence against
women and make the situation worse than poverty. Subsequently, this act can work as a
stumbling block for girls to contribute to their parents. Therefore, the best way for parents
could be to make daughters capable of self-determination and mature enough to choose the
right decisions in life. I use the term self-determination to mean the ability to manage livelihood
and maturity to lead life by herself, where the marriage will never be required to manage basic
needs. The main objective of this paper is to examine the traditional marriage system and its
impact on women’s life.
HOW DOES TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE MIGHT HARM?
Marriage is the safe haven for girls, the long-held assumption is strongly indefensible as due to
this system sometimes a number of bad consequences might be obvious (5). Violence against
women widely exists in Bangladesh, as we do not find a single day when features on violence
against women never come in the daily newspapers. Therefore, it is rationally justified to
examine each and every social event and as a part of that marriage, the arrangement system is
crucial. I do not argue that this system would necessarily harm women but my point of view is
the possibility is much higher that such practice would objectify women and that could
necessarily produce different kinds of violence.
Objectification of Women
Fredrikson and Roberts define objectification as the procedure of transforming a human being
into an object with an intention to satisfy others’ desires (6). After marriage, if women are
assigned to fulfill husbands’ family members’ interests, that would necessarily objectify them
and undermine their individuality. Moreover, limited or no opportunity to develop life- affirming skills would worsen women’s quality and eventually this incompetency will auto
objectify them. Changed perception about themselves makes them psychologically weaker and
consequently, they become very much dependent on others. Objectified women instead of
quality, start assessing themselves on the basis of their physical and social environment. Their
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Khan, S. I. (2021). Traditional Marriage in Rural Bangladesh: An Ethical Consideration. Advances in Social Sciences Research Journal, 8(11). 325-334.
URL: http://dx.doi.org/10.14738/assrj.811.11130
feelings depend on others’ approval or disapproval. (7). By and large, they evaluate themselves
on the basis of their appearance and they undertake all other activities with weaker or no
confidence (8).
Commodification and Dehumanization:
The term “commodification” generally implies putting a price level on something which will be
sold or commercialized. However, Kopytoff used the term in a broader sense. According to him,
a woman is transformed into a commodity when she is controlled by others (9). If a girl is
treated as other’s property, that usually occurs in slavery, which also falls under
commodification (10). Needless to say, through the objectification process, women lose
individuality and become others property subsequently, transforming into a commodity. Such
transformation slowly desensitizes her existence in the family. Dehumanization is not only a
process of negative assessment but also can be rooted in the cognitive processes of culture (11).
Due to the fact that objectification and commodification could gradually dehumanize women in
society. In such a society women devalue their wishes, choice, feelings and thoughts,
subsequently, the fact of individuality or human autonomy becomes unrealistic to them (12).
Considering the above-mentioned accounts, it is needless to say that objectification and
commodification lead women to dehumanization.
METHODS AND DATA COLLECTION
For this study as the main source of data collection, I arranged an in-depth one-to-one type
discussion with ten married women in a village of Tangail district in the month of November
and December 2020. In order to make the discussion diversified ten women were selected from
ten different families. The topic of the discussion was the cause and effect of marriage on their
life. To create a comfortable zone for participants it was promised that their names would never
be disclosed.
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Participants profile:
SL
No.
Pseudonym Age
(years
)
Husband
senior to
wife
(years)
Marriage
Arranged
by
Educational
Status before
marriage
Educational
Status after
marriage
Present
Status
1 Fahmina
Akter
58 14 Elder
brothers
Student of
secondary
level
Importance of
her education
was
overlooked by
husband
Housewife
2 Mina Khan 40 16 Father Student of
higher
secondary
level
Importance of
her education
was
overlooked by
husband
Housewife
3 Hamida 55 12 Elder
brothers
Student of
secondary
level
Willingly
decided to
discontinue
her study
Housewife
4 Rabeya 42 8 Father Student of
higher
secondary
level
Did not get the
opportunity to
continue
study
Housewife
5 Shimu 35 10 Father Student of
secondary
level
Did not get the
opportunity to
continue
study
Housewife
6 Poli 38 26 Father Student of
undergradua
te level
Husband’s
economical
condition was
not conducive
for her study
Housewife
7 Ayesha 38 11 Father Student of
higher
secondary
level
Did not get the
opportunity to
continue
study
Housewife
8 Rozina 28 8 Father Student of
secondary
level
Willingly
decided to
discontinue
her study
Housewife
9 Nasima 25 10 Father Student of
higher
secondary
level
Did not get the
opportunity to
continue
study
Housewife
10 Rekha 24 16 Father Student of
secondary
level
Willingly
decided to
discontinue
her study
Housewife
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Khan, S. I. (2021). Traditional Marriage in Rural Bangladesh: An Ethical Consideration. Advances in Social Sciences Research Journal, 8(11). 325-334.
URL: http://dx.doi.org/10.14738/assrj.811.11130
FINDINGS
The discussion revealed the impact of traditional marriage arrangement and their myriad
involvements to objectify women in the self-proclaimed middle-class family in rural
Bangladesh. Furthermore, marriage is considered as a responsibility shifting process that is not
only detrimental to girls but also dehumanizes them by ignoring individual autonomy.
Needless to say, such a marriage system plays a very important role to deform girls’ mental
state even before getting married.
Fahmina Akter, Mina Khan, Poli, and Ayesha confidently claim that if they had the chance, they
would continue their study, complete higher education, and work in any organization. They
blatantly asserted that before marriage it was tough to study for several reasons but after
marriage, it became impossible as husbands and other family members wanted them to manage
family activities. After getting married they had to take over the responsibility of a new family.
Within a few years, they conceived a baby and subsequently, child-rearing and other household
issues made them extremely busy. However, others’ reflection was completely different, they
did not even think of becoming self-dependent. They thought it is natural for girls to become a
housewife and thus to manage the family. Although they acknowledged that due to poverty,
they did not get enough opportunity to study, they also agreed that, as they could assume the
obvious life after marriage, therefore, they did not feel the importance of becoming self- dependent. All of the ten participants hold parents’ financial inability responsible for their early
marriage. Therefore, they think if they could earn money, they would help their parents.
Although all of them have the desire to help their parents, they cannot do that as they are fully
dependent on their husbands.
Surprisingly all of them approved that the husband plays the higher role of a family as he alone
earns and manage family expenses. He is naturally knowledgeable and superior to his wife;
therefore, a good wife should obey him. As a reference, they shared reflections on their parent’s
family which was headed by their father. While talking about the possibility of having equal
dignity of husband and wife in a family, all of them said that it would be indefensible as God
created husband as the guardian. Such a mentality could be the result of long held
objectification. This objectification has deformed their personality in such a way that they are
not comfortable outside the family. In such male-headed family, female members are extremely
dependent on male to go outside of the home. Unlike others, Poli and Mina Khan went to the
city alone several times for shopping whereas, the other eight members are fully dependent on
their husband or adult male person to move from one place to another, even though the
distance is very short. They are not comfortable talking to unknown adult male therefore, they
prefer to go outside with their husband or other male members of the family. Insecurity is also
a major concern in this regard as eve-teasing and other kinds of violence are prevalent.
Mr Aziz, Lecturer of a private Girls’ college of that place, shared that the college was established
in 2016 with a view to educate girls but a good number of girls are getting married and stop
studying without completing the higher secondary level. Around 500 girls are enrolled in higher
secondary level, undoubtedly this number makes anyone optimistic but marriage during this
two-year period is prevalent and after marriage hardly some students can continue to study
with the same performance. He demands a social movement to stop such early marriage.
Poverty is one of the reasons however, culture is mainly responsible for such marriage
arrangements. Based on his experience, he dictates that just after sending daughters to college,
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parents start searching for a suitable bridegroom, and as soon as they can manage, they marry
off daughters ignoring their interest in the study.
OBJECTIFICATION, COMMODIFICATION AND SPOUSAL VIOLENCE
The aforementioned discussion illustrates that women in rural Bangladesh are objectified in
such a way that they have accepted subordination and subsequently their individuality has
been suppressed by psychological weakness. They are highly controlled by husbands and this
dominion has made them a commodity. Objectified and commodified women can never be
thought of without violence. Research shows that spousal violence against women is high in
Bangladesh. The findings of a survey conducted in 2006 show that 86 percent of rural women
who have ever experienced spousal violence reported that a husband has the right to beat his
wife under certain circumstances. The circumstances could be not completing housework
adequately, being unfaithful, disobeying her husband, and so on. In contrast, of women who
have never experienced spousal violence, 73 percent of rural women agreed that violence was
sometimes justified (13). The findings of the research show the real-world image of objectified
women in rural Bangladesh. If we critically analyze the circumstances, it is straightforwardly
noticeable that somehow, surprisingly women accepted objectification against them. Such
acceptance has not happened suddenly, it is the result of a long process of dehumanization by
patriarchal society.
Violence against women is highly prevalent as we see in the month of January and February of
the year 2021, a total of 567 women reported to the police station being experienced violence
(14). This data represents the scenario of violence partially as in most of the cases women are
not comfortable going to police stations. Objectified women can be confined by shame or
embarrassment and which can continuously stop them from raising voice against any kind of
violence to them. This is a common experience shared by women all over the world but in a
country like Bangladesh, the situation is severe. Values and norms of society hold them
responsible for any kind of act which tarnish their family reputation (15). Behind such violence
objectification of women is one of the most important factors and that is cultivated by
traditional marriage arrangements. The effect of such objectification can be presented in a cycle
as follows:
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Khan, S. I. (2021). Traditional Marriage in Rural Bangladesh: An Ethical Consideration. Advances in Social Sciences Research Journal, 8(11). 325-334.
URL: http://dx.doi.org/10.14738/assrj.811.11130
Impact of marriage in the middle-class family of rural Bangladesh
The aforementioned cycle depicts the impact of traditional marriage arrangements in the
middle-class family of rural Bangladesh. Through the objectification and commodification
process, a wife becomes the victim of violence in her family and such an environment
psychologically objectifies daughters. Moreover, this family pattern reinforces daughters to
internalize such social constructs as a natural process. Needless to say, in such a family
daughters experience discrimination in each and every sphere of life and due to the fact that
they cannot become independent. This is one of the facets which makes them unconfident and
immature. Unfortunately, due to this incapability or immaturity of parents, mainly fathers
decide to marry off daughters instead of making them self-dependent.
MORAL CONSIDERATION OF TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE
One of the common views on parents’ role to marry off daughters is that girls are not mature
enough to make a better decision regarding marriage. In Bengali culture, being well- experienced parents arrange marriage and that is accepted by society. The argument may be
presented more explicitly as follows:
P1- The rightness or wrongness of an action depends on the approval or disapproval of the
concerned culture.
P2- It is well accepted in Bengali culture that families have sole rights to marry off daughters.
Therefore, it is morally justified for family members to ignore the daughter’s preference
while marrying off.
The aforementioned argument is an example of cultural relativism, in which theory claims
morality is relative. This kind of argument is well used by some people but from a logical point
of view, it is not acceptable as the conclusion does not necessarily reduce from the premises.
The premises are concerned about what practices exist in society whereas the conclusion is
concerned about the rightness or wrongness of that action. Any bad practice that exists in any
society can be easily justified by this kind of argument.
Traditional
marriage
arrangement
Objectification
and
commodificatio
n of wife
Violence
against
mother in the
family
Unequal
trearment to
daughters
Daughters
inability of self- determination
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Can This Arrangement Violate Girls’ Autonomy?
German philosopher Immanuel Kant provided a stringent notion of human autonomy.
According to him, a person acts autonomously when s/he acts according to a law she gives
himself not being influenced by family values or social convention (16). in traditional marriage
when parents decide to marry off daughters that necessarily violates girls’ autonomy.
Moreover, in this process girls are treated as an object instead of a subject.
Even though girls agree to their parent’s decision, such an arrangement is still morally
questionable. In this regard, girls act freely or they want to satisfy their preference through
their act. When somebody wants to satisfy her preference, she is not acting free rather she is
acting according to a force that is imposed on her. Having freedom or to act autonomously does
not mean to make the best decision for a given end; rather it is to choose the end for its own
sake (17). When a girl decides to marry for the sake of marrying not for the sake of some interest
or social convention then she is not acting autonomously. Therefore, considering Kant’s point
of view this is so evident to say that traditional marriage arrangement violates girls’ autonomy.
Can Daughter’s Consent Justify This Arrangement?
Some might argue that traditional marriage arrangement is morally justifiable if daughters’
consent is taken. However, I argue, in the case of such a context daughters’ consent is not truly
voluntary, it is rather obvious exploitation. Patriarchy took advantage of a dominated daughter
who does not have any better option except marriage. Michael J Sandel’s view can be an
appropriate response in this regard as he states consent is not a necessary condition of moral
obligation. The moral claims of reciprocity should get the sole priority and may be held
irrespective of the act of consent (18). He mainly focused on the mutual benefit which should
be clear in a moral act. In the case of marriage if girls are not aware of her benefit, if she does
not have any other option or limited option then consent does not make any moral acceptance.
If girls have the option to lead a life without getting married which is ensured by society and
family only then daughters’ consent matters. Therefore, from the context of a middle-class
family of rural Bangladesh, it is so evident to claim that daughters’ consent cannot justify the
act.
What Could Be the Alternative
The cultural context must be taken into account when we think of any change in any social
norms or values that hinders women’s progress, otherwise, the change would not sustain.
Therefore, initiatives must be taken to make girls’ independence culturally acceptable (19).
Strong patriarchy exists in Bengali culture and due to the fact that girls are objectified in
numerous ways. In such circumstances, all the facets of violation should be taken into account
while talking about social justice.
If daughters are not treated as a burden to their family then marriage will never be a must or
urgent. Having the equal opportunity and ownership in the family will make daughters more
confident to flourish their full potentials. Instead of two families, marriage is expected to be
arranged between two individuals where both of them are mature enough and self-dependent.
In this regard, parents are expected to raise daughters with a view to developing their
competency so that they can become self-dependent.
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Khan, S. I. (2021). Traditional Marriage in Rural Bangladesh: An Ethical Consideration. Advances in Social Sciences Research Journal, 8(11). 325-334.
URL: http://dx.doi.org/10.14738/assrj.811.11130
CONCLUSION
To conclude, this paper helps to understand that traditional marriage arrangements in the
middle-class family of rural Bangladesh and objectification against women are entangled in a
variety of ways. Based on the discussion it is so evident to claim that the importance of
rethinking traditional marriage arrangements should never be ignored. Due to the fact of
patriarchy, this system is playing a very influential role to objectify women which could
necessarily boost up violence against them. Therefore, a change in the existing marriage
structure might create a congenial environment for daughters to flourish their potentials.
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[19]. Khan, Irene . “Bending the arc of development towards gender equality,” Editorial, Daily Star, March 9, 2021